Couples Counseling

Underneath the various patterns of fighting or pulling away that can be so painful to a couple in distress, there are almost always deeper feelings of disconnection. It is these feelings in the relationship, such as emotional distance, claustrophobia, loneliness or mistrust, which are the root of the problem.

My focus in couples counseling is both to help couples uncover and heal these root causes of distress, and to guide them toward a new experience of safety and connection with each other. These are the building blocks of a loving, sustainable relationship. The approach to couples counseling that I use, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), is a highly effective and widely researched method that achieves both these goals in the following ways:

• Identifying and then helping couples step out of repetitive and destructive cycles of interaction in the relationship, and into far more supportive and satisfying ways of being with one another.
• Helping reduce the intensity and frequency of destructive fights by teaching partners how to identify—and stay with—the deeper feelings and needs that are behind the surface “content” of a given fight.
• Re-building intimacy and confidence in the relationship after “woundings” such as deceits, affairs, etc.
• Fostering new and authentic ways of communicating that help couples avoid engaging in built-up defenses and lead to greater intimacy.
• Creating more interpersonal safety and trust, thereby allowing both partners to feel more secure in the relationship, and free to be themselves.

Read more information on my approach to couples counseling, Emotionally Focused Therapy , and how it may help your relationship.